Star Dance
by Zazzie
Summary: Another cats angst fic. It takes place when Tantomile was a kitten, reflecting on her fellow kittens in the junkyard...


A/N: Just to let some people know, I haven't updated AOD yet because my update is on my other computer which, sadly, is currently broken. And I write angst fics when I'm bored; which this is, along with Fading Away.

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I watch the kittens playing in the junkyard. There is sadness in my gaze, but I don't turn my eyes away. I keep watching, watching those often called my 'peers', but who I know will never be such things.

Naive kittens. Playing hide-and seek, they know nothing of the world.

That grey one. Does he know anything of the greatness he will achieve in this life? Of the wonder he will get to glimpse, the honor he will serve to the other Jellicles? The pride that will soon settle in his father's eyes?

Hiding to the right of me is a black and leopard spotted tom. He notices me watching, and looks at me oddly. I turn to him, my eyes flashing, and he skids off to his kitten friends. He's scared of me. I'm not surprised.

What would he have done if I'd told him about his own upcoming future? Deep values will settle within his heart, but he'll only let others see his materialistic side. He will be quite attractive to young queens, somehow.

A bright red kitten queen is laughing at him for being afraid of me. She'll be like him; never satisfied with shallow values, but never brave enough to dig deeper, to give them up for the real things in life.

Of course none of them will know the real things in life. Not like I do. Not like I know I do and I know my brother, walking up in the middle of my muse, does.

"Why do you keep watching?" Coricopat asks- not with words, but with his eyes. I answer in the same manner, meaningful glances. I cannot hide my inner, shameful longing. I cannot hide anything from him, nor him from me. He knows, he knew- he's always seen what I saw when I looked at them, shunning me because I was different, myself letting it happened because I know my purpose. It saddens me, but not as much as does what I see for each of them. Their fates are inevitable, and good or bad, I feel powerless. I must learn to resist this feeling. Power is wicked, anyway.

He again senses my inner debate, and his mind takes my hand. We dance, my brother and I- we dance among the stars. This is life, this is our life- our mental connection, our star dance. It is deeper than longing, sadder and happier at the same time- materialistic and profound- everything and nothing. Our connection is more intimate than that of the mates we watch the meeting of, more intimate than the phrases 'brother' or 'sister'. It is more intimate than the futures that we can see. It is our star dance, and we are the stars…

I break it, my quiet ability going mad. That Siamese, playing with them in graceful haughtiness, does she know of her future love? The love she would never have because of her own pride, which will make her subside within herself? What about that black and gold queen, giggling in delight as she finds and tags her red sister? Her future will be in melancholy shadow- the shadow of paranoia, the shadow of hate, and the shadow of hope.

And that ginger tom-kit, watching them play. So young, and already evil has started to settle within his heart. He peers at the black and gold kitten with longing, a similar longing I feel when I look for too long, feel their futures for too long…the longing that will lead to his personal destruction…

I cry out- I turn away, I run away. My brother follows me. I am weeping- I, Tantomile, weeping! He stands there, waiting. After a while, I say, (using words for the first time in a while) "Why can't we be them?" Ignorance is bliss. "Why did we have to give ourselves up to solitude, why can't we be like them?"

He, too, uses words to respond. "We're different." The reply is simple, but it explains everything. "I know," I say. We look each other in the eyes- his sterile eyes and my now emotional ones. We eventually resume our star dance, and our gracefulness blends our minds together. Once we return to our hidden dance, I Know.


End file.
